Tomorrow would be the day I'd go back to the infusion center for the next round of chemo drugs. But it's over! And I'm trying to wrap my mind around that.
After six months and six rounds, I wanted to feel overjoyed when I finished the two days in May. Even like celebrating. But I knew the month to come would be another rough one as the drugs did their thing. How optimistic I was back in December and January. Since then, the rounds have become cumulative so the fatigue and body-aching just kept ramping up as time went on. So much so, that I almost nixed the whole thing after the 4th round, not sure I could take anymore. But I did, and found ways to handle it.
I'm simply wiped out. Which in and of itself isn't that bad, especially when I remind myself to be more "patient". It's the body aching that sends me into never never land. Flu-like aching everyday is a little hard to bear. Some days are more intense than others. I don't know if it's a side effect from the drugs or my body trying to grow back some white blood cells (especially lymphocytes) that have been killed off. I guess it doesn't matter.
This last and final round has proved the most difficult so far. Most days I drift around the house, trying to hang onto the concept of time passing and that no storm lasts forever.
And I still have a couple more months of this -- the time it'll take for all those white blood cells to grow back. So I"m not quite in a celebratory mood yet.
All that being said, I think I'm doing fairly well through the whole process. I had no flus or colds (except a minor cold in January) because I wear a face mask everywhere I go, when I do go somewhere. I didn't require any magnesium or potassium or platelet (blood) transfusions and didn't need to be hospitalized for anything. I've nearly gotten shingles 4 times but knocked those out quickly. All in all, my doctor said I've done "excellent". Geez, if this is how excellent feels, I really would've hated to do poorly.
So, my next PET scan (which shows degree of cancer activity, if any) is the end of June. That'll be a good milestone. My oncologist thinks I'm totally in remission....many people are with these two drugs. But there's an underlying bit of anxiety present while waiting for that confirmation.
In the meantime, I'm rediscovering the pleasures (where there are some) of lots of resting, visiting with friends, and letting the day pass slowly and calmly while I keep gently moving when possible. I've been able to plant my usual garden which is great -- a little everyday since March. And I've been reading books again!
Some of the recent ones:
I appreciate all the healing thoughts and intentions you all send my way, and definitely appreciate your phone calls (even when I'm unable to call back) and visits. I look forward to a really good fall, and that's about the limit of my visible enthusiasm at the moment.
-Adele Sonora
After six months and six rounds, I wanted to feel overjoyed when I finished the two days in May. Even like celebrating. But I knew the month to come would be another rough one as the drugs did their thing. How optimistic I was back in December and January. Since then, the rounds have become cumulative so the fatigue and body-aching just kept ramping up as time went on. So much so, that I almost nixed the whole thing after the 4th round, not sure I could take anymore. But I did, and found ways to handle it.
 |
| I know just how my neighbor's kitten felt the other day -- stuck in a tree and not sure of the next move. |
This last and final round has proved the most difficult so far. Most days I drift around the house, trying to hang onto the concept of time passing and that no storm lasts forever.
And I still have a couple more months of this -- the time it'll take for all those white blood cells to grow back. So I"m not quite in a celebratory mood yet.
All that being said, I think I'm doing fairly well through the whole process. I had no flus or colds (except a minor cold in January) because I wear a face mask everywhere I go, when I do go somewhere. I didn't require any magnesium or potassium or platelet (blood) transfusions and didn't need to be hospitalized for anything. I've nearly gotten shingles 4 times but knocked those out quickly. All in all, my doctor said I've done "excellent". Geez, if this is how excellent feels, I really would've hated to do poorly.
So, my next PET scan (which shows degree of cancer activity, if any) is the end of June. That'll be a good milestone. My oncologist thinks I'm totally in remission....many people are with these two drugs. But there's an underlying bit of anxiety present while waiting for that confirmation.
 |
| Lots of cucumbers and tomatoes already in my garden that I started in March. |
In the meantime, I'm rediscovering the pleasures (where there are some) of lots of resting, visiting with friends, and letting the day pass slowly and calmly while I keep gently moving when possible. I've been able to plant my usual garden which is great -- a little everyday since March. And I've been reading books again!
Some of the recent ones:
- Mastering Miracles - The Healing Art of Qi Gong as Taught by a Master, by Dr. Hong Liu
- Radical Remission - Surviving Cancer Against All Odds (The Nine Key Factors That Can Make a Real Difference), by Kelly A. Turner Ph.D.
- Lots of other cancer-healing and nutrition books til my head is swimming with them
- Born Fighting: How the Scots-Irish Shaped America, by James Webb
- The Scent of Water, by Elizabeth Goudge
- Some Danger Involved, by Will Thomas (a few novels even)
I appreciate all the healing thoughts and intentions you all send my way, and definitely appreciate your phone calls (even when I'm unable to call back) and visits. I look forward to a really good fall, and that's about the limit of my visible enthusiasm at the moment.
-Adele Sonora
