Bit of a Snafu

I got a few surprises this week at my 3-month follow-up.  I'm anemic again, due to the many viral infections lately my doctor said.  And my immunoglobulins (IG's) are low again.  Even lower than in January when I needed the two infusions of IG's.  So I might be needing a few more. 

And since I'm still waiting for the final results of my CT scan last week, this morning my mind was wandering.  Trying out different scenarios.  My preferred scenario would be that nothing has changed, all the lymph nodes from groin to neck are stable and not growing.  That's what I was expecting.

Scanxiety

When it's time to get the follow-up CT scan every 6 months, one word pretty much sums up the feeling.  Scanxiety. 

A couple weeks before the date, it's just a small feeling, a gentle observation that the day is coming.  But as the week before draws nearer, the feeling builds and anxiety starts in.  It all focuses on just one tormenting question. 

"What if...."