When it's time to get the follow-up CT scan every 6 months, one word pretty much sums up the feeling. Scanxiety.
A couple weeks before the date, it's just a small feeling, a gentle observation that the day is coming. But as the week before draws nearer, the feeling builds and anxiety starts in. It all focuses on just one tormenting question.
"What if...."
I've tried different approaches to address this question, even to quell it.
Denial. The most immediate and preferred reaction is to pretend that the cancer couldn't possibly come back in a voice that says something like: "Don't be silly it's only been a year you're doing well so of course it hasn't come back don't even worry about it." This approach doesn't seem to work very well for me. Because I keep thinking about it.
A Plan. Under this scenario, I face the "what if" question head on. Okay I tell myself, what if it has come back? Then what. So then I proceed to think of all the options I have, not only conventional but also alternative that I could use to deal with it. I call it my "Plan B". And usually end up making a list of what options I'd pursue.
Once I do this, the possibility of relapse stops nagging me as much, and the fear and anxiety fade. Because I'm prepared. I have an answer to the question. I've got a plan! This is what works for me.
I even research new options if need be. Although the amount of research I do now isn't much compared to the first 6 months after being diagnosed, I still do it. I read what others with lymphoma do to support times of remission and also to deal with times of relapse. For those of my friends that don't know, times of relapse are extremely common.
I belong to a group of lymphoma survivors who are very knowledgeable about this life-long malady. The ring leader is a 24-year survivor, which is really really good. He's constantly researching new approaches to healing cancer through epigenetics (changing gene expression) because that seems to be the way to go these days.
It's amazing to think about, but by using all the means available to us (diet, specific nutrients, exercise, less stress, sleep, lifestyle changes, and other immune and genetic modulators) -- the expression of our genes can, and do, change. If we do these things. And that means genetic expression of cancer cells too. Science is proving that we are not stuck at all with the genes we were born with so the oft-used saying "bad genes" no longer has to define what our health is.
I also read a lot about survivors of other types of cancer, especially those that get radical remissions. It helps keep me motivated. It's not completely easy, you might guess, staying on a no-sugar, low-starch, low-carb, high-vegetable diet with little or no processed foods. Plus all the rest of it. So periodic motivation is really helpful.
I'm also still working on lifestyle changes -- some of which I'll talk more about later. If I had more energy I probably would be doing more in this arena. I've got a few things up my sleeve though.
Unfortunately I've been too tired the past ten weeks from 5 shingles (a herpes virus) outbreaks! That's an ungodly amount and too many viruses for my body to comprehend in such a short time. It's not the pain of the lesions that bother me, it's the way my body turns into a limp rag until it blows over and the next one arrives. I guess I wasn't prepared for how challenging the past few months would be.
But I had the CT scan last week. This being my third follow-up scan since chemo ended, I noticed much less anxiety than the last one in January 2015. Hey, I might even get good at this pretty soon. I'll get the results next week when I see my oncologist.
Maybe I was too tired to get anxious.
--Adele Sonora
A couple weeks before the date, it's just a small feeling, a gentle observation that the day is coming. But as the week before draws nearer, the feeling builds and anxiety starts in. It all focuses on just one tormenting question.
"What if...."
I've tried different approaches to address this question, even to quell it.
Denial. The most immediate and preferred reaction is to pretend that the cancer couldn't possibly come back in a voice that says something like: "Don't be silly it's only been a year you're doing well so of course it hasn't come back don't even worry about it." This approach doesn't seem to work very well for me. Because I keep thinking about it.
A Plan. Under this scenario, I face the "what if" question head on. Okay I tell myself, what if it has come back? Then what. So then I proceed to think of all the options I have, not only conventional but also alternative that I could use to deal with it. I call it my "Plan B". And usually end up making a list of what options I'd pursue.
Once I do this, the possibility of relapse stops nagging me as much, and the fear and anxiety fade. Because I'm prepared. I have an answer to the question. I've got a plan! This is what works for me.
I even research new options if need be. Although the amount of research I do now isn't much compared to the first 6 months after being diagnosed, I still do it. I read what others with lymphoma do to support times of remission and also to deal with times of relapse. For those of my friends that don't know, times of relapse are extremely common.
I belong to a group of lymphoma survivors who are very knowledgeable about this life-long malady. The ring leader is a 24-year survivor, which is really really good. He's constantly researching new approaches to healing cancer through epigenetics (changing gene expression) because that seems to be the way to go these days.
It's amazing to think about, but by using all the means available to us (diet, specific nutrients, exercise, less stress, sleep, lifestyle changes, and other immune and genetic modulators) -- the expression of our genes can, and do, change. If we do these things. And that means genetic expression of cancer cells too. Science is proving that we are not stuck at all with the genes we were born with so the oft-used saying "bad genes" no longer has to define what our health is.
I also read a lot about survivors of other types of cancer, especially those that get radical remissions. It helps keep me motivated. It's not completely easy, you might guess, staying on a no-sugar, low-starch, low-carb, high-vegetable diet with little or no processed foods. Plus all the rest of it. So periodic motivation is really helpful.
I'm also still working on lifestyle changes -- some of which I'll talk more about later. If I had more energy I probably would be doing more in this arena. I've got a few things up my sleeve though.
Unfortunately I've been too tired the past ten weeks from 5 shingles (a herpes virus) outbreaks! That's an ungodly amount and too many viruses for my body to comprehend in such a short time. It's not the pain of the lesions that bother me, it's the way my body turns into a limp rag until it blows over and the next one arrives. I guess I wasn't prepared for how challenging the past few months would be.
But I had the CT scan last week. This being my third follow-up scan since chemo ended, I noticed much less anxiety than the last one in January 2015. Hey, I might even get good at this pretty soon. I'll get the results next week when I see my oncologist.
Maybe I was too tired to get anxious.
--Adele Sonora
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